EMMA STONE AS GWEN STACY!

As the film world now knows, the role of Spider-man’s love interest in the Spider-man reboot has gone to actress Emma Stone.

Ms. Stone’s casting as Gwen Stacy, one of Spider-man’s most beloved girlfriends, comes to no shock—primarily because she looks absolutely nothing like former love interest Mary Jane Watson.

But who is Emma Stone? Where did she come from? What’s her deal?

We may never know, nor will we ever find out, but we do know that this is the thrust her career needed. Now that she's been cast in a super-comic hero film, her face is going to be on everything from coffee mugs to franchise-endorsed rock tumblers!

Here are just a few of the roles the star of Easy A has been cast into:

Emma Stone takes on the role of Tim Allen’s “Santa Clause”. During a freak accident, the Santa Clause and his elves awaken sleeping dinosaurs from below the North Pole’s underground caverns, once thought to be lost during the Ice Age. It’s up to the Santa Clause and his magical, jive-talking reindeer to subdue the primeval beasts and save Christmas! Word on the street is that Ms. Stone fought for the role vigorously, as it was always her dream to play the mystical bearded jolly-man Saint Nick. Also, she sounds just like Tim Allen.

Hotel for Dogs is back again! And it’s got a role for Ms. Stone too! She will play Emma Roberts’ shoes. The plot for the film is hush-hush for the time being, with some reports saying that it will reflect the times and involve the current financial crisis. Actor Don Cheadle has dropped out of the film, noted as disagreeing with the direction of the franchise. He has been replaced by Terrence Howard.

That’s right—Spider-man 2! Emma Stone has been cast as Doctor Octopus, fiendish villain of the Spider-man. Word on the street is that her origin will be nearly identical to the comic book incarnation, with the only difference being that the Doctor will be a blonde (believe it or not, Ms. Stone is a true blonde!). The plot involves Doctor Octopus stealing the moon in hopes that he can impress Mary Jane Watson, so she will ask him to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. The Spider-man must get the moon back before midnight or the moon’s disappearance will mess with the earth’s tides, flooding New York City with water and gross sea animals! I can’t wait for this one!

This is the same exact film as the first one, it’s just that Emma Stone’s face was digitally rendered on every single actor’s face. Word on the street is that this picture won’t be released until the body of Lindsay Lohan is found.

This was the last movie I could think of.

--fancier dan