The Comic Book League's Excellent Adventure

Meeting Minutes (3/4/10)

7:02 -Marvel Legends Nightcrawler figure purchased; Galactus build-a-figure piece exchanged --“You got a torso!”

7:15 -Will’s Duane “The Rock” Johnson fan fiction: The Rock will become the President of the United States. A “The Parent Trap” strategy will be used to end Eva Longoria’s current marriage, allowing her to marry The Rock and become First Lady Longoria.

7:35 -“I’m not cut out for any kind of labor” -Will

7:38 -The Nightcrawler action figure looks like Bill S. Preston Esquire…Wyld Stallyns!

7:56 -Selecthumor’s Tips for a Successful Home Invasion: Grab the girl first. You can hold her hostage.

8:02 -Discussion of the upcoming “Smurfs” movie. Dan casts Christopher Lloyd as Gargamel. Mike asks, “Where is he now?” “The Old West,” says Taimur.

8:07 -Justice League International factoid: Oberon found Darkseid reading “Mein Kampf” “Look it up. It happened,” declared Will.

8:10 -Boba Fett & Bossk buddy movie proposed. Dengar & IG-88 suggested the primary antagonists.

8:11 -A great movie? “The Great Muppet Caper”

8:20 -Bill & Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure described in great detail by Dan. The 2009 show featured the Predator grinding on Speed Racer.

8:29 -”The Universal Monster Café had a weird smell the last time I was there. I’m just sayin’” -Will

8:31 -Dan elaborates on the upcoming “Harry Potter Goes Nuts Land” at Universal Studios. “There’s going to be Butter Beer, but no Fire Whiskey.”

8:35 -Secret Word of the Meeting: “sauced”, as in, “She’s probably getting sauced” or “Biff got sauced and then tried to rape Marty’s mom”

8:36 -The incredible alcoholic tolerance of John Candy brought up again. “He couldn’t get drunk!”

8:39 -Renegade Accordion mentioned. Also, Alan Moore is not Epic Beard Man.

8:45 -Comic Book League Spring Break
-Ask Kevin Smith where to get a bus, via Twitter.
-Drive down to Universal Studios Florida
-Investigate the weird smell at the Universal Monster Café
-Use “Bill & Ted” phone booth time machine to travel to the future
-See The Gorillaz rock opera written by Alan Moore
-Firebomb “Spider-man: Turn Off The Dark”

8:51 -”He kinda looks like a schmoe” -Dan

8:58 -In reference to the French and French women, Taimur asks the following: “Does she shave her pits?” and “They have nude beaches, right?”

9:05 -Valve software, apparently, offers an anal patch, which is, according to us, the latest rage.

9:12 -Eitan --The World’s Most Arrogant Man…and 2nd Greatest Lover.

9:18 -”I wanted Quato to die” -Courtney

9:23 -”When you die, can I have this?” -Dan’s 7-year old cousin asking Dan for his Jar Jar Binks action figure

9:26 -"Whose that Jedi with the big forehead?” -Mike
“Dan Aykroyd” -Dan

9:32 -Jerry Weintraub punched a horse in the face and stuffed a dead butler in his pantry during a party at his house. Now you know.

9:34 -CBL concludes that the Real X-Men would probably be a bunch of inbred mongoloids.

9:36 -Mike mistakes The Robotics Team for The Ebonics Team

9:39 -Jacket Party commences; jackets tossed around with complete abandon.

9:40 -”War is awesome -it has the best explosions” -Eitan

9:43 -”I want to play World of Warcraft with Bobcat Goldthwait!” -Mike

9:48 -Alternate Reality Comic Book League -Eitan is president and Sammy Hagar’s “I Can’t Drive 55” plays continuously.

9:50 -Sammy Hagar the Horrible

9:52 -Dan reenacts “The Amazing Adventures of Spider-man” 3-D ride at Universal Studios

10:18 -Empty bottle of Jack Daniels found in Kimmel elevator. Taimur says, “Courtney was here.” Taimur wins the meeting.

Back Issues: CBL vs The Eighties

Meeting Minutes (2/25/10)

7:05 -You can see drug-dealing skeletons with the right X-Ray glasses

7:10 -Mike‘s declaration that ”You can spit and hit the back wall of St. Mark’s Comics” turns out to be the inspiration for a new hero called, Longshot. According to Andrew and Mike, Longshot’s ability is to projectile spit long distances with incredible force. He premiered as a character from the 1940’s and was a member of “The Justice Society of America” even though he was a Marvel character. Longshot was last seen in his 1990’s mini-series, which was meant to be a modern re-imagining of the character, notable for its extremely violent scenes, such as when Longshot spit into a criminal’s mouth and blew out the back of his head…it was considered a failure by many.

7:23 -List of Things Sean Connery Should Say.

7:32 -Interior Design with The Comic Book League

7:39 -”I have a mental disorder. Guess what it is!”

7:42 -”Driving Miss Daisy” from “Be Kind Rewind”

7:58 -Hans Moleman Retrospective

8:05 -Garfield Minus Garfield discussed. Topic For Debate: Nermal: Male, Female, or She-male?

8:10 -John Candy had an incredible alcoholic tolerance. He drank like a fish and smoked like a chimney.

8:16 -Will declares himself to be a “dancing machine”. “I mostly shimmy. The shimmy is my go-to move.”

8:19 -The Comic Book League, upholding their tradition of crashing parties, crashes the Junior class 1980’s themed dance.

8:34 -”Lips are bullshit” -Andrew

8:38 -”You must be from Pearl Harbor because you’re the bomb” & “Every time I hear your pants swish, I wish I was between them” are just a few sweet nothings from a anonymous love letter written to a friend of Will’s.

8:43 -”Look at what we’ve become! Tiny Toons!”

8:45 -Muppet Babies theme song sung by Mike. Labyrinth themed episode of Muppet Babies discussed. Opening lyrics of “Dance Magic Dance” also sung.

8:47 -"I found Prince” -“No --I said fingerprints” -“I don’t think so”

8:48 -Dan describes a more dramatic version of Animaniacs where the skeletal remains of the Warner Bros. and the Warner Sister, Dot, are discovered in the Warner Bros. water tower after being locked away for years. Their bodies are carried down from the tower in slow motion, while the theme from “Schindler’s List” plays; shot in black and white

8:50 -”7:00 in the morning is too early for “Singing in the Rain” and rape” -Courtney

9:02 -”I don’t think I need to take advice on how to draw Wonder Woman from a homosexual”-*artist’s name withheld*

9:05 -We just burned the 80’s