Meeting Minutes 4/4/13

So technically this is a week late-let's just go with that I was sucked into a wormhole and then completely forgot I was supposed to do the minutes. Sure. That works.

7:22: So I’m late. I couldn’t find my socks. This proved to be problematic, as I started getting ready at like 6:45

7:22: Select has had every position in the club.

7:23: We plan the wedding of Electro and Mysterio-Damian’s the ring barrier.

7:24: The Wayne Foundation supports gay rights.


Not pictured: Kate Kane

7:25: There are way too many Monster High dolls.

7:25: If I bring the Mexican one, Javier will read her part in a terrible Mexican accent.

This is Javier now.

7:26: Today is Dinosaur education day.

7:26: Middle Long Island is a piece of shit.

And furthermore: fuck Long Island.

7:27: Javier is actually a hard core creationist.

7:27: Despite his T-Rex couture outfit.

7:31: Mike Coppola left everything in his will to Franklin Delano Roosevelt, in hopes of helping him defeat the reds.

7:32: She’s a dragon so she’s obviously chinese.

OBVIOUSLY

7:32: Select confirms that all Chinese people are also dragons.

7:34: Seth forgot all about the war of the Asians vs the Burritos.

7:34: Javier’s grandfather lived 10 years in a Chipotle internment camp.

7:34: What does Shaquil O’ Neal have to grapple to? He can literally reach everything while standing.

7:35: Why doesn’t Seth just run for president?

7:36: We literally never left square one.

7:36: Seth with be giving Select the traditional editor’s under the table hand job.

7:37: Seth, dressed as Spiderman, prepares to conquer Select’s penis.

7:39: Chimpanzee Girl is not a Monster High doll.

Their loss.

7:39: Andrew Scott ruined everything.

7:41: We have a charter, apparently.

7:42: Wait are we printing tee shirts?

7:44: Seth is stealing the plot from Office Space.

7:44: Wait no, it’s Hotel for Dogs.

Same thing.

7:45: I hate smiling, laughing, and encouraging my friends. Especially the last part.

7:45: What is OrgSync?

7:47: They want you to swipe out in case you get stabbed, so that NYU is no longer responsible for your corpse.

7:47: It’s really only so much of a legal precedent.

7:49: Alcoholism: the last Iron Man villain.

7:49: Ben Kingsley was Ghandi. And now he’s the Mandarin.

Sir Ben should prepare for another Oscar this year

7:50: I will save our nation from Doctor Doom.

7:52: How many stereotypical Australians do we know?

7:52: Who played Kangaroo Jack?

This guy was in the movie, but is not a kangaroo.

7:52: Can we all remember for a moment that the Daredevil movie was a thing?

7:53: “If you get a scripts and one of the directions is: rub catnip on your face-there’s nothing you can do to save that movie!”

7:54: Catwoman would’ve been better as a porno.

7:54: Javier’s seen the Catwoman porno, and the production was much better.

A movie that’s actually enjoyable for someone. I mean, she seemed happy enough.

7:55: I’m the ultimate Mary Sue.

7:56: I literally have no other choice but to get the Vampire Girl.

7:56: And who can forget the time I encouraged Seth when he ran the 500k?

7:57: Poseidon: the first brony.

7:59: Bronies can be like, “well at least we’re not furries”-but some people double dip.

7:59: Bronies and furries are a venn diagram, basically.

8:01: And then the furries go, “well at least we’re not Otherkins.”

8:01: And then you go to the Otherkins, who say “at least we’re not fictivekins.”

8:02: Javier continues to believe that he’s Danny Phantom.

8:02: We’re getting to the darkest part of the internet.

8:03: In this specific branch (the Brony branch) we have the one guy who has sexual relationships with the tailpipes of cars.

Ladies.

8:04: The Empire State Building is firing up it’s particle beam.

8:07: We venture to the ClopClop reddit. God help us.

8:07: Reddit forced Shaquiel O’Neil to hang himself.

8:27: I literally just spent 20 minutes being forced to watch Youtube Poop.

8:27: Boggle

8:30: You can’t next me, I’m Dylan!

Close enough.

8:30: And stop trying to Wallace Wells my boyfriend!

8:33: We begin to watch baggage.

Some enternity later, I think, a bunch of people got hungry and we disbanded. I don’t really remember, I was so entranced by that episode of Baggage.

Remember kids, Gossip Squirrel might have a fuzzy tail, but the Lizard will murder you for sport.

You know you love me
xoxo
The Lizard

Here Are Your Options

In lieu of a meeting this week (unless there was a meeting this week and I missed it, in which case who the hell holds a meeting during spring break??) please enjoy Josh Keaton reading Spider Man memes aloud.

Meeting Minutes 3/14

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Meeting Minutes 10/18

Better late than never League-arinos, its the meeting minutes! FORWARD INTO THE PAST!

7:00: We go over our spoils from New York Comic Con. I bought a bunch of discount trade paperbacks, Dan only bought obscure Jack Kirby creations, and someone bought some erotic spy comic that was in no way erotic. More on that later. 

The Comic Book League's Final Form

7:05: An old romance comic cover shows a shark falling in love with a submarine. The cover does not reflect the contents of the book.

7:09: A suited Eiton appears. 

7:12: The thief in this erotic spy comic must have stolen all the guts out of these women. Its the only logical explanation for why they are drawn so impossibly skinny.

7:16: Avengers 2: The Avengers sneak into Kang's Connecticut bungalo. Cap, Black Widow, and Hawkeye become trapped in the master bedroom closet while Kang has an extended affair with another man. Cap does not approve. Meanwhile, the Hulk and Iron Man hang out in the backyard by the pool. Rated PG-13

7:24: Javier would like more boobs in his classic movie musical.

7:29: Hostess Fruit Pies!

7:35: Dan struggles with the official business

7:42: Are we still talking about this?

7:51: The meeting gets back on track with our new reality tv program, Adele in a Deli.

7:56: If you want to know what was said at this time, talk to me after class. I can't say in mixed company.

8:09: Wolverine with Iphone hands?

8:17: Did the Goonies actually ever want to see the Truffle Shuffle?

8:30: Neil GAY-MAN AM I RIGHT?

8:32: All X-Men comics can be summed up with the phrase "Remy, ah cahnt touch you!"

8:37: The mere mention of the old Batman villan Doctor Doom causes me to do a spit take. 

9:00: Most of the rest of this meeting is a discussion of what Pokemon we would willingly have sex with. Raelle, who was on a bus and had to be contacted via phone, refused to play along. Shame on her. 

9:15: I don't care what anyone says, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is great.

9:30: Me and Dan get into a lovers spat that threatens to tear the club apart. 

And with that, I returned home to burn all the love notes Dan ever wrote me. See ya next time, same CBL-time, same CBL-channel!

Meeting Minutes 9/27/12

Incoming transmission League-arinos!

This is Judge Seth with the Meeting Minutes from our last gathering. Forward...INTO THE PAST! 

7:04- Attendance was on the smaller side at the start of this meeting, presumably due to Dan railing against Garfield in his email. Who knew there were so many Heathcliff fans?

7:08- During his tenure with the Harvard Lampoon, Conan O'Brien stole Burt Ward's Robin costume.

7:20- What DID happen to Jon Arbuckle's roommate? 

Lyman: Wanted Dead or Alive

7:28- The Feminist Society wants to have a meeting with us.

7:30- Javier is the worst. Can't argue with that.

7:32- The Crow killed The Cat in the Hat

7:37- Harry Potter would be much better if he was a 1950's greaser

7:42- Imagine in your mind all of the Weasley's from Harry Potter. Now imagine that they were all carrying firearms. 

7:45- Coming this year to CBL Presents: GUN WIZARDS

Drawn by Kaishu Mennella

7:49- Harry Potter IS JFK

7:53- Select loves Dredd 3D. After a secretive fact finding mission, the rest of us agree. GO SEE DREDD 3D

8:04- Christopher Walken was the bad guy in the hit feature film The Country Bears

8:11- If Hershey Park forced you to put your favorite candy on your staff id a la Dan's Universal Studio tag, Raelle would put Jolly Ranchers on it. I know, right? Reese's are the way to go.

8:16- Why did Robin ever put up with those short shorts?

8:21- Underneath Javier's beard is a tiny Art Garfunkel

8:26- Remember that scene in the Lorax where the Lorax takes off all of those people's limbs?

8:29 REPAIRMANMANMANMANMANMAN

8:33- The second Spongebob Squarepants movie is simply an animated remake of the The Master

8:34- The Creeper from Scooby Doo is actually a scientologist.

8:38- Randy Newman has written a theme song for every Pixar movie, not just Toy Story. They have never been released to the public, for good reason. 

8:43- According to the Three Caballeros, Donald Duck is an adopted latino

8:50- Remember that weird room in the middle of the temple from "Legends of the Hidden Temple" where a kid just had to sit in a chair?

9:00- "Cars 2/Cars 2/Does whatever/Cars do."-Randy Newman

9:08- We're all Hobgoblins! 

9:15- Miles Morales died on his way back to his home planet

9:21- We've got like, 5 years of Stan Lee AT MAX.

9:23- Class, please welcome our new student...Man-Thing

9:33- Our new Spider-Man cartoon idea: Peter Parker just wants to get to the beach, but Mary Jane comes along with another WACKY SCHEME.

9:53- The Oregon Trail of Tears

Well, thats all for this week! Long live the League, and remember! 

I AM THE LAW

  

Meeting Minute Mania! 9/13/12

Howdy Ho Leaguearinos! This is your old pal Seth with the meeting minutes of the FIRST MEETING OF THE YEAR! Follow me into a magical world of Inside Jokes and Obscure Pop Culture References! ©

7:16- The meeting opens with a jovial "Fuck the Doctor Who Club!"

7:17- Select is not a U.S. Citizen

7:21- Mary Jane HATES comic books!

7:24- PENNY PLUNDERER! PENNY PLUNDERER! PLENNY PUNDERER! 

7:34- Dan struggles to recite his immaculetly planned out presidental speech

7:40- NO JERKS ALLOWED

7:42- Arman is dangerously close to death

7:44- Marie wants to be in the minutes. Good for her.

7:45- It's simply Arman's name scribbled out with a no sign over it. I don't remember what this refered to, but I assume it was warrented.

7:48- We discuss buying Comic Con tickets. I already bought mine, so I kind of spaced out.

7:49- We all learn a lot about Mary Jane's new and improved class schedule. 

7:52: Javier- "Anyone seen a Pony Pen around here?"

7:54: I trust Raelle with the minutes. She writes "Marie is stupid." I approve.

7:58: Dan- "Boom Boom! I'm the Mega Man!"

8:00: People are drawing the Hulk nude.

8:03: Andrew makes new friends over Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3. I didn't have enough experience to contribute but suffice to say, the conversation lasted a long time.

8:05: Everyone loves that show about the Community College

8:10: The M. Night Shamylan film "The Last Airbender" is brought up. Javier melts.

8:13: Alf!

8:20: Max stumbles upon the secret truth of the CBL: We are trapped in a 90's nostalgia loop.

8:26: THE CIRCUS OF CRIME

8:34: Dan- "Your real name is Richie Rich. Your family had to change it to escape the Holocaust."

8:45: We have NO IDEA about the details of a rave at NYCC. We usually just go home and cry afterwards.

8:50: We are going as the Magic School Bus to Comic Con!

9:05: Someone needs to light this Marijuana farm on fire

9:18: Ghana has a king? News to me. 

At this point, my terrible chain smoking related head cold became too much and I had to leave. I assume you all just discussed how much you hate me. I'M ONTO YOU. 

Long Live The League!

-Seth 

Greetings Earthlings

Greetings citizens of the New York University Comic Book League. As you may know, I am Seth Finkelstein, your new Secretary. I have finally wrested control of this monstrosity from the late Michael Cheung so that I may take my irreverent brand of insight and wonder to the masses.

Rest in Peace, Selecthumor.

I'll probably put the Meeting Minutes on here, as is custom, but perhaps reviews, news, or op-eds about fringe presidential candidates. I'm even willing to post YOUR articles and reviews. Probably not. I'm pretty lazy. This is already getting long and incoherent, so I will return you to your summer. Happy Shark in July.