To Kill a Comic Book League (9/30/10)

7:01 -”I love a good gorilla character” -Mike

7:02 -Comic Book League picks for a “Secret Avengers”-esque team set in the DC Universe -“Secret Justice”

Will’s Team: Larfleeze, The Flash, Blue Beetle, Beast Boy, Larry Trainor (Negative Man), Aqua Man

Mike’s Team: Gorilla Grodd, Batman, Green Arrow, Martian Manhunter, Hawkman, L-Ronn

7:06 -Our President’s back/Boo Radley sighting

7:10 -Boo Radley’s being mean

7:12 -Boo Radley scared off our awesome cover artist

7:15 -Socks are being blown off left and right

7:16 -Surprise appearance by Taimur

7:18 -Hipster Galactus

7:20 -Taimur’s Team: Monsieur Mallah, B’wana Beast, Plastic Man, Ace the
Bathound, Starro, Firestorm

7:30 -Giovanni from “Pokemon” is a famous Renaissance artist

7:33 -“Double Rainbow is overrated and lame” -Mike

7:34 -“Boo Radley, 10 points from Ravenclaw!…another 10 points from Ravenclaw!” -Will

7:36 -Universal Studios Amusement Park Theater starring Dan Costales. Tonight’s feature: The Hanna-Barbera Ride

7:42 -“First off, they go down easy” -Will

7:45 -Courtney was meeting with DJ and the rest of the Tanner family in San Francisco

7:48 -“Do you burn your clothes everyday?”

7:49 -CBL’s new greatest hero: Pee Jar Man -The Justice League’s newest member hurls mason jar filled with, well, pee

7:50 -Possible arch-enemy for Pee Jar Man -Shit-On-You Guy

7:51 -“Why do you always want bodily fluids in our issue?!” -Courtney

7:52 -In a dark, apocalyptic future, the CBL New Gods must stand against the tyranny of Boo "Darkseid" Radley…they are The Devil (Will), Devil Dinosaur (Dan), a Hostess Devil Dog (Mike)

7:54 -Drunk Yoda -“I thought he was gonna puke in the mask”-Will

7:57 -Courtney’s Halloween Costume: George McFly

7:59 -”Will, are you the one in the gown?” -Courtney

8:00 -”Everyone was gonna have a great time, but you ruined it” -Will

8:13 -Pregnant Pebbles

8:16 -Pee Jar Man and Purple Arrow -Besties from Hebrew Camp

8:17 -New Title for our upcoming publication: Fall Fap Fest!

8:21 -Our President is playing Bejeweled

8:24 -It’s a Fact: Phil Molnar broke his leg bootlegging sour mash whiskey

8:26 -“Dan, you’re such an asshole!” -Courtney

8:28 -Scene: Batman staring awkwardly at Pee Jar Man

For some reason, the meeting ends early and we wind up at Toy Tokyo. ‘Nuff said.

Hello, My Name Is… (9/23/10)

7:00 -Free name tags!

7:02 -All the books in Bobst look old and intimidating

7:05 -Shadowland & Hercules Recap. Summation: Too many Shadowland tie-ins and we can hardly wait for Chaos King.

7:09 -Jeff Paker is awesome

7:13 -Fancier Dan earns his moniker with a dashing neckerchief

7:17 -Hipster Gepetto teaches dramatic writing.

7:20 -Spain + Newspaper Reporter + Bronze Age = “It’s The Bronze Age”

7:23 -Dan had a dream where he performed “Mummy in America” as Ambush Bug at a Comedy Festival

7:26 -“I got this in the mail in a tiny package -I look like a sex maniac” -Dan

7:30 -Eitan demonstrates his super-strength by moving four chairs at once, with Mike and Wendy sitting in them

7:37 -Discussion of the stage version of “Mummy in America”

7:43 -Alternate Endings to “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”

7:44 -World’s 2^nd Greatest Pokemon Card Game Player

7:48 -Hogwarts is like Waco or Jonestown

7:50 -Poor William Atherton -everyone calls him “dickless”

7:54 -Zack Galifianakis is the contemporary Bill Murray

7:55 -“You just put your finger in my mouth!” -Will

“Don’t worry, I washed my hands purely in in herpes infested semen” -Eitan

“Hey, that sounds like a new Hanson song” -Dan

8:00 -Zack Galifianakis is the modern day Humphrey Bogart.

8:01 -Zack Galifianakis as the entire cast in of “Ghostbusters 3”

8:03 -”If there’s one thing we can teach you in this club, it’s to be couth” *Eitan belches loudly*

8:07 -New Club Rule: No Quidditch

8:08 -”He sold his bed to Nien Nunb!"

8:15 -Eitan cut off one of his Grandma’s fingers in a door jam

8:21 -Now Will is wearing a neckerchief

8:23 -It’s a Fact: Bill Paxton played drums on the original recording of “Sunshine of Your Love”

8:25 -Will’s Sparknotes Bible is autographed by Ronald Reagan

8:27 -Conference call with our missing President -she hung up on us.

8:30 -Free Donkey Kong arcade machine on the 9^th floor of the Tisch building

8:32 -Bible fight!

8:36 -The ending of TORCH #2 is the same as the ending of the “Thriller” music video

8:39 -Giving Wendy the pen knife was a bad idea

8:45 -”If the Batman can do it, why can’t I?” -Dan

8:46 -New Favorite Member: Chair

8:48 -Eitan has the Spengler Effect

8:50 -Mothra Coppola -“Come to me, Mothra. Come to me”

8:52 -“Tojo is a war criminal, not a Godzilla monster!” -Will

8:54 -King Kong’s Brother Theory: The King Kong featured in “Godzilla vs. King Kong” is smaller than the Kong featured in the

original “King Kong“; therefore, we believe that “King” is a title and that the next in line would assume the title after the original Kong’s death at the end the 1933 film, most likely his brother, Larry. The explanation for Larry’s smaller appearance is that it’s like the movie “Twins” -one brother (the original Kong) received all the "desirable traits" and the other (Larry, the 2^nd King) was a "genetic trash".

9:01 -“Godzilla ’98 is when I fell in love with Jean Reno” -Mike

9:03 -Godzilla ’98 was hiding in the River of Slime

9:05 -Minilla…Godzilla’s son’s name is Minilla?!

9:06 -Darwyn Cooke Revenge Fantasy

9:08 -”Kneel Before Eitan!” -Eitan For CBL President Propaganda posters

9:10 -Lovitz & Levitz, Attorneys at Law

9:14 -Our Nega-Levitz is more moley

9:20 -Rory Zip, the hunchback banker

First Official Meeting (9/16/10)

*Special Guest Star* Taimur Dar as Taimur Dar

7:00 -About 12 new prospective members

7:01 -Our President is being attacked by a tornado in Brooklyn

7:02 -A selection from Vice President Eitan’s opening remarks “Many of you will not be here in the following weeks. This is not a threat of physical violence, but because many of you will lose interest. My suggestion is that you do show up because that will add to the chances that we’ll learn your names.”

7:05 -Will and Mike are like Statler & Waldorf

7:10 -Dan’s plans for NYCC: Attend a DC panel dressed as Ambush Bug and give Dan DiDio a drawing of Joe Quesada as a Quesadilla

7:13 -Dan Slott/Danny DeVito Romance

7:15 -Justin the Biebarian

7:19 -“…jabs made, deals broken.”

7:22 -“Now we actually have confident females.” -Dan

7:24 -“Father Doesn’t Like” starring Chen Chen Chen

7:27 -Cosby Show Trivia

7:29 -Ace Frehley is like Rodney Dangerfield -he gets no respect

7:32 -Dan’s Golden Girls/Twilight/Harry Potter slash fiction

7:35 -Boba Fett knows who IG-88 is

7:37 -Pee-Wee Herman sucks as a pirate

7:40 -Wendy interrupts Dan story

7:43 -Will purposely spills Coke on the Minutes -“When aliens find this stuff years from now, they’ll wonder what happened”

7:44 -Universal Studios Amusement Park Theater starring Dan Costales. Tonight’s feature: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter

7:54 -“The last time I drank out of cups like these I was dancing the Macarena” - Will

7:57-
-Straight Shooter
-Kept the Commies in place
-Won the Vietnam War
-Excellent Hair
-Knew how to wear a Power Suit

Will’s Reasons to Vote for Nixon or What Will’s Dungeons & Dragons Character Sheet would look like?

8:02 -“We make tasteful, intellectual dick jokes, like, about Alexander Hamilton’s dick, not about a dying African’s dick -not like The Plague” -Dan

8:05 -It’s a Fact: There are monkeys in the Psych Dept. basement
“They locked up The Monkees in the Psych Dept. basement?!” -Mike

8:06 -Isn’t it weird how in the first Harry Potter movie, they said “Happy Christmas” and not “Merry Christmas”?

8:09 -Everyone is just ragging on Space Ace

8:13 -Other names for Other Andrew
-Stevie
-H.K.
-Burton Guster
-We could just call him Andrew

8:15 -Will talks about his years as a street fighter in school and how he wrecked this one kid’s face, “He stole my shoe, so he got shit [a knee to the face] in return.”

8:18 -Ferocious Rhinoceroses

8:20 -“My teeth are in such bad condition” -Will

8:22 -Love springs on the battlefield -Will vs. Eitan

8:26 -Spader-Man Dino Damage Stegosaurus Napkin Holder

8:29 -Michael Anthony: The Nicest Man in Rock n’ Roll

8:31 -“The Beatles are the British Hall and Oates” -Dan

8:33 -Young love at The CBL

8:35 -Jurassic Park Arcade Shooter: The Brontosaurus shits on you

8:38 -The John Hammond action figure was a repaint of The Penguin and the Newman action figure was unusually buff

8:41 -Spader-Man milks a stegosaurus

8:44 -Behold, Action Jesus

8:46 -“The Muhammad Action Figure is just an empty plastic container” - Selecthumor

8:48 -“He does fart! Listen!” -Will, on the Jurassic Park Stegosaurus figure

8:50 -Zack Galifianakis in the film adaptation of “Greatest American Hero”

8:52 -Tommy Wiseau Experience. Will’s Ideas for a live-action adaptation of “Bonkers”

8:54 -Billy Dee Williams’ Family Style Restaurant. Entrées include Lando Linguini, Bespin Back Ribs, and Colt 45 Battered Steak. Nien Nunb works a busboy.

8:56 -In the Bill & Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure, the cast of Seinfeld was able to push the Back to the Future DeLorean

8:58 -Selecthumor concludes that Spider-man is the “Run & Tell That” rapist

Unofficial First Meeting (9/9/10)

Put off by the idea of having to organize a major meeting two days after Club Fest and during the first week of classes, we decided to keep things simple -a meeting for the CBL Elite, which, as you’ll read, usually gets vulgar.

7:03 -The Comic Book League is introduced to TNT’s MonsterVision and the legendary Joe Bob Briggs thanks to James Rolfe at Cinemassacre. *This is a watershed moment in CBL history*

7:07 -“Let’s just smoke a joint, listen to John Williams' “Harry Potter” score, and drink this pumpkin juice.” -Mike

7:09 -“All I smelled was Mummy and Frankenstein. Nothing weird about that.” -Dan

7:12 -“I didn’t say eat him out, I said eat inside him” -Dan

7:21 -I don’t mind this guy at all.” -Will, in regards to Chris Klein

7:30 -“Imagine Kim Jong Il on a warhead and you have to dismantle all the nuclear weapons.” -Dan

7:41 -Bill & Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure is the only stage show where Joe Pesci shoots Jar Jar

Binks to death.

7:48 -”Do you guys have a midget on call?” -Will

7:54 -Zach Galifianakis as “The Incredible Mr. Limpet”

8:03 -Video Game Discussion: Red Dead Redemption & Just Cause 2

8:06 “Everyone is into bestiality in your fan fiction” -Wendy, on Dan’s fan fiction ideas

8:08 -“…sex humping his head violently” -Andrew

8:10 -Davey Jones vs. David Hasselhoff

8:12 -“I don’t remember that, so it didn’t happen.” -Mike

8:15 -CBL Conspiracy of the Night: If Mike were to wear Ace Frehley face paint, but not shave his

goatee, he’d look like Caesar Romero, who played The Joker in the 1960’s Batman television series. Ace Frehley has a maniacal laugh just like The Joker’s…conspiracy?

8:17 -”You said ‘go down’.” -Andrew

8:20 -Let’s all take out our phones and look disinterested

8:21 -”Did you just Google ‘Orion Slave Girl’? That’s a pretty dangerous gamble.” -Mike

8:26 -”Don’t Tell Sexton the Babysitter’s Dead” -Mike

8:30 -“I’m asking you to use your imagination” -Will

“I’m asking you to use science.” -Eitan

8:33 -“When you’re home and when you’re only, and only when you’re alone, Google “kangaroo penis”. You’ll have nightmares for days.” -Dan

8:39 -”Dan, what are you doing with your wand?” -Wendy

8:42 -I remember he [Will] used to be as innocent as a Venture brother” -Dan

8:45 -“What’s that one spell?” -Dan

“In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” -Mike

8:46 -Dean Thomas is an imaginary creature

8:47 -“Why don’t you go to a whorehouse, lady!” -Dan to Wendy

8:50 -Bit o’poetry: Drinking cigarettes and smoking beer

8:59 -“That was her credit, right? Bikini stripper dancer.” -Andrew

9:01 -“Have you seen his penis arms?” -Dan

9:04 -“Larry Flynt is the literal equivalent of Jabba the Hutt” -Dan

9:10 -“It’s a terrible movie” -Dan

“I know. I own it.” -Mike

9:15 -Dan shares some weird comics including Captain America fighting alien drug dealers and a Ronald Reagan snake monster (different issues) and an issue of Slimer.

9:22 -The “Real Ghostbusters” poster in the Slimer comic was just the cover of that issue. Also, a 17 year-old guy entered in the Slimer drawing contest. Conclusion: What’s a 17 year-old teen doing reading a God-awful kids comic, let alone competing against 6 year-olds in a drawing contest?

9:26 -Mike proudly admits he cried during the ending of Ernest Scared Stupid

9:38 -The Ace Frehley notebook is returned!

9:41 -“I was on my knees in front of Storm” -Dave Kraft

9:55 -CBL Screening: “The Critic” Episode 11, "A Day at the Races and a Night at the Opera".

Fall Club Fest 2010 Minutes

I do have to say that I was very proud of our members and the work they put in. Everyone stopped by and helped out, whether it was handing out flyers and publications, drawing an awesome banner (thanks, Wendy), or joining us at the table and getting people to sign-up. It was crowded. It was hot as heck. It was Fall Club Fest 2010.

1:38 -Mike shows off his new awesome pen knife. People think its scary.

1:46 -Will unveils his latest piece of artwork -a drawing of KISS guitarist, Ace Frehley, that he did during lecture. Mike adds, “Sign if you love Ace Frehley”

1:55 -Courtney’s box of plastic spoons becomes CBL Arts & Crafts Corner

2:09 -It’s a Fact: Courtney is dating Ace Frehley

2:17 -”Gene Simmons is a fine piece of ass” -Will

2:20 -Guy across from us is just reading a book

2:22 -Ben Seever can hotwire a golf cart and Boner died an unsavory death

2:30 -Sci-Fi Club breaks Club Code by using images of Batman and “Watchmen” on their promotional material -BULLSHIT!

2:38 -Will calls out a guy wearing the same exact shirt he’s wearing.

2:43 -“I’m peaking, I’m peaking!” -Will

2:48 -“Look at this dork -not you, ma’am.” -Will

3:05 -Return of Selecthumor…Hello-o-o, Michael!

3:15 -Lunch break. First appearance of Nega-Courtney.

4:15 -“Get that socialist crap off my table” -Will

4:25 -Awesome Batman sketch by Dave Kraft

4:38 -Someone stole the Ace Frehley sign-up sheet (and Will’s notebook)!

4:42 -Surprise appearance by CBL Vice President Eitan

4:50 -The point and yell approach seems to be working well.

5:09 -Eitan continues to trick people into signing up by pretending we’re other clubs.

5:18 -Entering the Psycho Circus

5:21 -Comic Book League Sausage Fest

5:27 -Into the Void…wherever you are, awesome drawing of “Space” Ace Frehley

5:38 -I wonder where Nega-Courtney is?

5:55 -An invisible man may be sleeping in your bed at this very moment

5:58 -The ending of “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey” is very emotional and uplifting

6:06 -Instead of the cool Paul Stanley spoon, I get a smiley face one.

6:28 -If you were to walk by the CBL table, you’d see two guys, their love for comics and KISS, and a poster of busty lady

6:30 -Well, if it isn't Fancier Dan

6:36 -Dan does a drawing of Psyduck on the sign-up sheet -College kids love Pokemon

6:40 -The decision is made to turn the Comic Book League into the Hanna-Barbera Society

6:55 -Let’s blow this popsicle stand!

how i spent my summer vacation....

--fancier dan

cartoons and what-not...

---Family Guy is the Two and a Half Men of the animation world.

-----Both:

-are popular

-are poorly written

-feature 1-dimensional characters

The biggest excuse I hear for the show, from those who understand it’s not perfect, is that it still has its funny parts, if only few in each episode. I relate this to the time spent with a hooker: there are brief moments of singular satisfaction that can come out of this encounter, but the rest are only awkward interactions leading up to these moments and then worse feelings following as you count your dollar bills and she slides her dress back on, as I assume.

It’s a joke-and-shtick show, I know. It’s just that I got bored with it. I can find a good pop culture joke humorous as much as the next guy, but then I can only take so many bone-picked, forced political messages, overused jokes that feel more intended to make the writers laugh rather than the audience, and the constant use of totally-random/it’s-funny-because-it-makes-no-sense humor just before it stops being funny.

I remember I loved this show back in middle school. I thought it was the greatest. I evolved out of this. I guess that’s when I realized that playing a song from the 80s wasn’t actually a joke.

The original fans didn’t give up on McFarlane because he sold out, I think many gave up on him because they got tired of the cyclical nature of Family Guy, something once thought to be a one-hit wonder until 2004 rolled around and the episodes never stopped.

Seth McFarlane seems like a nice guy. He shouldn’t be the highest paid television writer, but he’s still a nice guy. He definitely jumped the shark as soon as he got the chance, and he went with it. But what begins to bother me is the bluntness, no sharp wit but just straightforward “this is the joke, get it?” He never brings us anything new, just another wacky family doing wacky things, something the Simpsons had already been doing more than a decade before any of this hoopla (I’ve watched interviews with the guy, and he just outright says that when he was in college he saw the Simpsons and said he wanted to do that, and that’s what he did).

I’m also confused by the fact that he just produces animated shows about families and fathers, something he generally shouldn’t have any experience with because he’s unmarried and has no children, leading me to believe that his view of the world has been adapted by how fictional families interact on television alone (at least Matt Groening tried to branch out with Futurama). Why can’t he play with something new? Why stick with something so ground level, so safe, when you can now basically do whatever you want? You can at least animate your shit better—we get it, the Flintstones did it 40 years ago, let’s move on.

This has all been said before far better than I put it. Mainly I’m just frustrated that Venture Bros. still hasn’t been nominated for an Emmy yet, even though it’s both well written and well animated, two reasons an animated series should be nominated.

Don’t even get me started on Robot Chicken…

-fancier dan