Meeting Minutes 4/11

7:11 We take a minute to appreciate the PR of third world dictatorships.

Werk.
7:12 We do not actually need a table.

7:17 We are finally back where we belong-in the comfy seats, mocking the Sci Fi club.

7:18 This first time our meeting has actually boiled down to us just sitting around and reading comics.

7:20 Select needs thicker frames

7:21 He’s not mentioning wrestlers

7:21 Javier is unable to remember any of the THREE female members of this club

7:22 Javier and I have hated each other since birth.

7:23 Even though I hate everything that Injustice has done to every character, I already pre ordered it at Gamestop. I paid like 5 dollars for the down payment. There’s no turning back now!

Aquaman is worth at least 5 dollars. Maybe?
7:24 It takes Javier 5 years to finish a children’s video game.

In his defense, I find Legos confusing, too.
7:24 YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TEXT ON A PLANE

7:26 Lego: Pirates of the Caribbean was a shit game

Bullshit
7:26 I never played it

7:26 But I trust Andrew’s opinion

7:26 Not Andrew Scott.

7:27 Pokemon what are you stop making babies

7:29 NO ONE IS BLINKING

7:29 These free sandwiches are clearly a trap.

7:29 And ew, tuna fish. Oh god.

7:30 Like I really think I’m going to be violently ill

7:30 I’m gonna puke in Javier’s red hat

7:31 He didn’t understand my Simpsons reference

7:31 I don’t even KNOW this club anymore

7:31 Is Javier talking about the Fattest Man in the World or the Half Human Half Alligator?

Maybe he’ll find a singing prince to kiss him into a human.
7:32 How do you vanish if you’re the Fattest Man in the World?

7:33 The members of this club have an extensive knowledge of very strange porn.

7:35 The Chupacabra’s a good guy, currently working on a few indie projects

NOSTALGIA
7:35 What’s more important-Ted Nugent talking about how much he loves weapons or a Chupacabra task force?

7:36 Convincing Javier that I’m an alien is the perfect red herring.

7:38 3 out of 4 means I pass the alien test!

7:38 THEY KNOW

7:39 Homestuck spends a lot of time describing the genitalia of it’s characters

7:40 Archers cannot keep it in their pants.

“Ew, cooties” --At least one of you, I’m sure
7:42 Who the fuck invited Karen?

7:43 Karen does not seem to understand that the Comic Book League publishes a COMIC BOOK.

7:43 Karen, everyone.

7:49 Without the Chihuahua, it’s actually quite tasteful

Shown here: the abyss gazing back
7:49 We critique the news

7:49 The editing on this show is terrible

7:49 The hair on this show is terrible

7:51 Mexican Barbie and Chinese Barbie are basically the same.

7:52 None of these Barbies can dunk

Except for this one, who will die trying
7:53 Why does Victorias Secret count as news?

7:55 Thank god one of us in this useless club actually speaks Spanish

8:00 Butts!

8:01 Sitting down must be an adventure

8:03 We might as well just not check the news.

8:03 Oh wait.

8:06 Magic the Gathering is always the beginning of the end.

Abandon hope all ye who enter here
8:07 Where is our Cobra Task Force

8:10 Sherlock homes does not have large breasts nor a tight spandex costume and thus we do not care.

8:10 Or at least, I don’t

8:12 Which X Man hasn’t died at least once?

8:14 Patrick Stewart cannot be used as a teenage superhero

Like hell he can’t
8:15 That’s some ageist bullshit

8:15 Who hasn’t died in Game of Thrones?

8:19 This issue is going to be Spice World themed

The best decision we’ve ever made
8:20 We all have to pick our anime trope!

An artist’s rendition of the Comic Book League
8:21 Andrew wants to be Tuxedo Mask

8:22 Andrew does not mind the idea that wicked queens are going to be kidnapping and molesting him constantly

8:22 What does this tornado have to do with choreographed dance moves?!

8:23 NEWS

8:26 We plan a Viking funeral. Or a musical routine.

8:28 It is Cats DON’T Dance!

I hate furries.
8:30 If you’re on the news, don’t Skype from your dorm room

8:33 GODZILLA IS CYCLICAL

In case you're wondering, curious readers, the meeting didn't end at 8:30, but the rest is top secret information that could DESTROY OUR VERY PUBLICATION. No I'm kidding we talked about themes. Like adults.

Everybody better have a rough draft when I see them tomorrow at the cost of an eye.

You know you love me
xoxo
The Lizard

Meeting Minutes 4/4/13

So technically this is a week late-let's just go with that I was sucked into a wormhole and then completely forgot I was supposed to do the minutes. Sure. That works.

7:22: So I’m late. I couldn’t find my socks. This proved to be problematic, as I started getting ready at like 6:45

7:22: Select has had every position in the club.

7:23: We plan the wedding of Electro and Mysterio-Damian’s the ring barrier.

7:24: The Wayne Foundation supports gay rights.


Not pictured: Kate Kane

7:25: There are way too many Monster High dolls.

7:25: If I bring the Mexican one, Javier will read her part in a terrible Mexican accent.

This is Javier now.

7:26: Today is Dinosaur education day.

7:26: Middle Long Island is a piece of shit.

And furthermore: fuck Long Island.

7:27: Javier is actually a hard core creationist.

7:27: Despite his T-Rex couture outfit.

7:31: Mike Coppola left everything in his will to Franklin Delano Roosevelt, in hopes of helping him defeat the reds.

7:32: She’s a dragon so she’s obviously chinese.

OBVIOUSLY

7:32: Select confirms that all Chinese people are also dragons.

7:34: Seth forgot all about the war of the Asians vs the Burritos.

7:34: Javier’s grandfather lived 10 years in a Chipotle internment camp.

7:34: What does Shaquil O’ Neal have to grapple to? He can literally reach everything while standing.

7:35: Why doesn’t Seth just run for president?

7:36: We literally never left square one.

7:36: Seth with be giving Select the traditional editor’s under the table hand job.

7:37: Seth, dressed as Spiderman, prepares to conquer Select’s penis.

7:39: Chimpanzee Girl is not a Monster High doll.

Their loss.

7:39: Andrew Scott ruined everything.

7:41: We have a charter, apparently.

7:42: Wait are we printing tee shirts?

7:44: Seth is stealing the plot from Office Space.

7:44: Wait no, it’s Hotel for Dogs.

Same thing.

7:45: I hate smiling, laughing, and encouraging my friends. Especially the last part.

7:45: What is OrgSync?

7:47: They want you to swipe out in case you get stabbed, so that NYU is no longer responsible for your corpse.

7:47: It’s really only so much of a legal precedent.

7:49: Alcoholism: the last Iron Man villain.

7:49: Ben Kingsley was Ghandi. And now he’s the Mandarin.

Sir Ben should prepare for another Oscar this year

7:50: I will save our nation from Doctor Doom.

7:52: How many stereotypical Australians do we know?

7:52: Who played Kangaroo Jack?

This guy was in the movie, but is not a kangaroo.

7:52: Can we all remember for a moment that the Daredevil movie was a thing?

7:53: “If you get a scripts and one of the directions is: rub catnip on your face-there’s nothing you can do to save that movie!”

7:54: Catwoman would’ve been better as a porno.

7:54: Javier’s seen the Catwoman porno, and the production was much better.

A movie that’s actually enjoyable for someone. I mean, she seemed happy enough.

7:55: I’m the ultimate Mary Sue.

7:56: I literally have no other choice but to get the Vampire Girl.

7:56: And who can forget the time I encouraged Seth when he ran the 500k?

7:57: Poseidon: the first brony.

7:59: Bronies can be like, “well at least we’re not furries”-but some people double dip.

7:59: Bronies and furries are a venn diagram, basically.

8:01: And then the furries go, “well at least we’re not Otherkins.”

8:01: And then you go to the Otherkins, who say “at least we’re not fictivekins.”

8:02: Javier continues to believe that he’s Danny Phantom.

8:02: We’re getting to the darkest part of the internet.

8:03: In this specific branch (the Brony branch) we have the one guy who has sexual relationships with the tailpipes of cars.

Ladies.

8:04: The Empire State Building is firing up it’s particle beam.

8:07: We venture to the ClopClop reddit. God help us.

8:07: Reddit forced Shaquiel O’Neil to hang himself.

8:27: I literally just spent 20 minutes being forced to watch Youtube Poop.

8:27: Boggle

8:30: You can’t next me, I’m Dylan!

Close enough.

8:30: And stop trying to Wallace Wells my boyfriend!

8:33: We begin to watch baggage.

Some enternity later, I think, a bunch of people got hungry and we disbanded. I don’t really remember, I was so entranced by that episode of Baggage.

Remember kids, Gossip Squirrel might have a fuzzy tail, but the Lizard will murder you for sport.

You know you love me
xoxo
The Lizard