In Response to the SciFi Club Threat...

Crucial!!!

Because of recent ALIEN abductions ...

Refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...
This is for you, and for you to share
with your wife, your children, everyone you know.
After reading these 10 crucial tips,
forward them to someone you care about.
It never hurts to be careful in this crazy UNIVERSE we live in.


1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
The ELBOW is the strongest point on your body.
If you are close enough to use it, do! Each Alien Species has different weaknesses, some we have yet to learn of, but an elbow to the head never hurts!
2. Learned this from a Nasa Employee.
If an Alien asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! He is probably trying to steal your human identity! This does not just include your wallet and identification… This includes your skin!

3. If you are ever beamed up to a space ship,
kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole
and start waving like crazy...
The Aliens won't see you, but everybody else will.
This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars
after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit
(doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.)
DON'T DO THIS!
An Alien will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a laser gun to your head,
and tell you to take them to your leader.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE...

If an Alien is in the car with a laser gun to your head
DO NOT DRIVE OFF SLOWLY,
Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF SLOWLY!
INSTEAD
GUN THE ENGINE !
and speed into anything, wrecking the car.
Your Air Bag will save you.
If the Alien is in the back seat
they will get the worst of it !

As soon as the car crashes bail out and run.
It is better than having them find your body in a remote location… Or never finding it all!

5. A few notes about getting
into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:
look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van,
enter your car from the passenger door.
Most Aliens attack their victims by pulling them into their vans, which then transform into small space ships,
while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side... Are you sure it’s REALLY a van?
If an Alien is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
(And better paranoid than dead… Or Abducted!)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.
Stairwells are horrible places to be alone
and the perfect spot to be beamed up to a cloaked spaceship overhead.
(This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the Alien has a laser gun
and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The Alien will only hit you (a running target)
4 in 100 times (Scientific studies have shown that most Alien species have horrible eye sight); and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.
RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern! This should also make it more difficult for you to be beamed up to the MotherShip.

8. As women, we are always trying to be SYMPATHETIC :
STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It may get you abducted, experimented on, or killed.
ET, the Alien, was a cute, pitiful creature.
He ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women and children.
He waddled around, played sick and often
said, ‘ET PHONE HOME’
which is when he abducted his next victim..

9. Another Safety Point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard
a crying baby on her porch the night before last,
and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird.. The police told her
'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door..'
The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried
that it would crawl to the street and get run over.
The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do,
DO NOT open the door..
He told her that they think an Alien has a baby's cry recorded
and uses it to coax women out of their homes
thinking that someone dropped off a baby.
DO NOT open the door.

10. Water scam!
If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These Aliens turn on all your outside taps full ball so that you will go out to investigate and then attack, beaming up entire families for their experiments!

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbours!
Please pass this on
The Crying Baby Theory #9 was mentioned on America 's Most Wanted
when they profiled an Alien in Louisiana

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
Send this to any woman you know
Guys, pass on to your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
Remind them the Universe we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it's better to be safe than sorry.. .
WE AREN’T ALONE!