We've moved!

BIG NEWS EVERYONE: The Comic Book League is making the official switch to tumblr.com! Check us out at nyucomicbookleague.tumblr.com, IF YOU DARE. No seriously, it's a pretty cool blog and you should look at it. Enjoy the meeting minutes!

--

7:34: I start the minutes late because nobody told me I was taking the minutes

 

7:34: Thanks guys

 

7:35: Lauren is bad and she should feel bad

 

7:35: The meeting consists of us just yelling instructions at each other and the freshmen

 

7:37: Also, the freshmen are all awesome this year.  Wink!

Look!  Gifs!

 

 

7:39: WE HAVE AUTHORITY

Dramatization

 

7:39: Possibly.  It has yet to be see.

 

7:41: Worcester, Mass: the happiest place on earth!

Scenic

 

7:41: We are going to dangle our enemies over the Brooklyn Bridge.

 

7:43: We have no technical know how and if you’re surprised then thank you for your faith in us.

 

7:43: KAREN.

Pictured here

 

 

7:45: Karen is excited for the Michael Bay adaptation of teenage mutant ninja turtle.

Here for your soul

 

 

7:45: Her execution is tomorrow.

 

7:46: We’ve had a battleship movie.  Anything is possible.

Remember when Rihanna tried to act?  Neither do we!

 

 

7:46: They trademarked the Hungry Hungry Hippos Movie and the Monopoly movie.  What a time to be alive.

 

7:48: You can’t prove that in a court of law.

 

7:48: RED DEAD REDEMPTION

 

7:49: Ezio Auditore: sexy at any age.

Knock knock, here comes my cock

 

7:50: Katie becomes my third progeny.  The blood ceremony commences at midnight.

 

7:50: Unless it’s not the full moon tonight.  Does anyone know when the next full moon is?

 

 

7:53: Please notice me, Kate Beaton

To senpai, with love

 

 

7:53: The real Tycho Brahe had a pet moose who he got drunk.  Then it fell down the stairs and he died.  

 

 

7:53: The movie actually almost redeems Scott Pilgrim.  Even if he is pretty much an ass.

 

7:54: But isn’t that why we love him?

7:56: Lauren yells at me about my boobs. 

 

8:09: We now have a tumblr

Thanks, David! You're a gem.

 

8:09: People are actually talking comics, and not obscure pop culture references.  What is this?

 

8:11: An attractive man from a different club comes to ask for plates.  His beauty will not soon be forgotten.

 

8:13: Cecilia and Lauren wrestle and I’m way too old for this shit.

 

8:14: I will separate them. I’ll do it.

 

8:15: I tried, and I really don’t care enough to discipline them.

 

8:17: The freshmen better be enjoying themselves.  Or else.

 

8:26: Max had his foreskin privileges taken away long ago

 

8:26: And like clockwork, Javier now talks about echidna penis.

Censored for your delicate eyes

 

8:26: Every fucking year, Javier.

 

8:28: Ah yes my favorite character, Nipples the Enchilada.

Not pictured: Knuckle's penis

 

8:30: Javier begins his full tirade on animal dicks.

 

8:31: Snails have a vagina/penis that shoot darts.

 

8:32: Snails, like Marie and Mike, fight to see who will be the man in the relationship.

 

8:33: Eyes up here, Javier.

 

8:33: Javier makes everyone uncomfortable because breasts.

 

8:34: It’s 8:34 pm, we lasted one hour and thirty four minutes before saying that Javier breastfeeds.

Javier exclusively lactates Mountain Dew: Code Red

 

8:40: Javier breaks.

 

8:41: Powerful patriarchs are threatened by Marie’s independence.

 

8:41: Right in the brovaries!

 

8:42: Stop going on the Brony sites, Javier.

 

 

We're under new management-and you know what that means! Embezzlement for everyone!

You know you love me

Xoxo, the Lizard

 

Meeting Minutes 4/25

Hey Rachel, why are the minutes so late? Well disembodied voice, it just so happens that I hit my head on a rock and completely forgot! That makes sense, right?

This doesn’t get a spoiler tag. This stands alone.
7:15 Justice League of America’s Vibe has broken Select.

Are you the devil?
7:16 There are extra dinosaurs!

7:17 Seth and Ian begin to fight over dinosaurs. Though there are many extra ones, Ian insists on taking the one that Seth has.

7:17 Javier has invented a game with dinosaurs and cubes it looks very complicated

7:18 If it was in Jurassic Park, it’s a dinosaur.

7:18 Jeff Goldblum is a dinosaur.

I still haven’t seen Jurassic Park
7:19 So it’s just like duel monsters.

7:19 Never leave your beaver exposed.

More references!
7:21 Weekday drinking, Andrew’s favorite sport

7:21 He says it’s just a hobby.

7:21 Not the plug bag! Anything but the plug bag!

7:22 Sounds like a terrible Tisch thing.

7:22 There’s like 4 basic shapes of dinosaurs

Shown: Not an actual dinosaur
7:23 We don’t want your accuracy, science.

7:24 SETH HAS NEW SHOES!

Frisky!
7:24 If they get even a smidge dirty, he has to return them.

7:24 Javier is making up this game as he goes along.

7:26 Lauren feels the need to show up and spread her germs

7:27 Teen Titans Go is actually enjoyable and Select and I are upset by this

7:28 BOOKS WITHOUT PICTURES ARE NOT OF INTEREST TO US

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND THIS
7:30 FRIENDS READ EACH OTHER’S FANFICTION, LAUREN. GOD.

7:32 Seth is furious and hurt and nobody cares

7:34 Chet just wants to give a shout out to his main girl, Lauren.

7:35 This was a bit, it just didn’t end.

7:35 LAUREN TOUCHED ME WITH JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA’S VIBE

He’s here for your soul
7:36 They’re going to make Suicide Squad before they make Justice League, for some reason.

7:36 There will be no Skyfall in my lobby!

7:37 Pain and Gain; a feel good family film

Starring this obligatory hot blonde
7:37 The answer is not “bottom.” This is an NYU first.

7:38 Tom Cruise’s Oblivion was “aggressively mediocre.”

7:40 I hate movies

7:40 I think I’m about to get kicked out of the club

7:41 My minimal knowledge of Star Wars saves my membership

It takes place in space and stuff
7:41 I was fucking terrified of Scooby Doo on Zombie Island

7:43 We talk about Velma’s boobs.

Girl you work it
7:43 Apparently there are people outside of the Comic Book League

I think they look like this or something and sometimes they play sports?
7:46 Ian’s dreams break the fourth wall.

7:47 Javier is 1/4 groundhog

Uncanny.
7:47 Go quote some Top Cat!

7:47 NYU is staffed entirely by Yogi Bears.

Your tuition pays for his ties
7:48 This makes too much sense.

7:48 If you’re with your friends with benefits for 3 years, that’s a committed relationship.

7:49 Except without effort or feelings.

7:50 We determine Spirit Animals.

7:51 Bek somehow wins Javier’s game, I think, I don’t fucking know

7:52 Young Avengers is so well written it makes me cry

flawlessidiots.jpg
7:54 We’re just waiting for the Titans to get back together

8:04 We have a mild panic about the spring party

8:09 Everyone is going get way too into Iron Man 3

8:11 We’re big fans of the big bang theory of physics

8:15 Javier’s game has no prize

8:15 Or you get to cosplay as Javier

8:16 The best thing about Man of Steel is that it’s basically All Star Superman but a movie

8:18 A lot of Gweneth Paltrow as robotic sidekick woman and Ghandi as the Madarin

8:18 I have so many feelings about my life as Superman

8:19 Should I have helped those kids? Eh.

8:19 Russel Crowe as Javert as Jor El

8:20 And I’m Jor-El!

The costume department is really taking it to the next level
8:20 How good would Javert be as a Scooby Doo villain?

8:21 Seth and I believe more in Superman than we do in the entire Jewish religion

. 8:21 I mean have you seen Henry Cavill

I’d convert for this.
8:23 But when are we going to get to see Superman be a dick?

And also fuck Jimmy Olson
8:23 Kids love real estate schemes

8:24 Is Man of Steel not a musical? Even though Javert is in it

8:25 Are we getting popcorn?

8:27 Andrew is still hungover

8:27 Vindictive is actually one of the kinder things I’ve been called

Last meeting today, kiddies. Be PREPARED.

You know you love me
xoxo
The Lizard

Meeting Minutes 4/11

7:11 We take a minute to appreciate the PR of third world dictatorships.

Werk.
7:12 We do not actually need a table.

7:17 We are finally back where we belong-in the comfy seats, mocking the Sci Fi club.

7:18 This first time our meeting has actually boiled down to us just sitting around and reading comics.

7:20 Select needs thicker frames

7:21 He’s not mentioning wrestlers

7:21 Javier is unable to remember any of the THREE female members of this club

7:22 Javier and I have hated each other since birth.

7:23 Even though I hate everything that Injustice has done to every character, I already pre ordered it at Gamestop. I paid like 5 dollars for the down payment. There’s no turning back now!

Aquaman is worth at least 5 dollars. Maybe?
7:24 It takes Javier 5 years to finish a children’s video game.

In his defense, I find Legos confusing, too.
7:24 YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TEXT ON A PLANE

7:26 Lego: Pirates of the Caribbean was a shit game

Bullshit
7:26 I never played it

7:26 But I trust Andrew’s opinion

7:26 Not Andrew Scott.

7:27 Pokemon what are you stop making babies

7:29 NO ONE IS BLINKING

7:29 These free sandwiches are clearly a trap.

7:29 And ew, tuna fish. Oh god.

7:30 Like I really think I’m going to be violently ill

7:30 I’m gonna puke in Javier’s red hat

7:31 He didn’t understand my Simpsons reference

7:31 I don’t even KNOW this club anymore

7:31 Is Javier talking about the Fattest Man in the World or the Half Human Half Alligator?

Maybe he’ll find a singing prince to kiss him into a human.
7:32 How do you vanish if you’re the Fattest Man in the World?

7:33 The members of this club have an extensive knowledge of very strange porn.

7:35 The Chupacabra’s a good guy, currently working on a few indie projects

NOSTALGIA
7:35 What’s more important-Ted Nugent talking about how much he loves weapons or a Chupacabra task force?

7:36 Convincing Javier that I’m an alien is the perfect red herring.

7:38 3 out of 4 means I pass the alien test!

7:38 THEY KNOW

7:39 Homestuck spends a lot of time describing the genitalia of it’s characters

7:40 Archers cannot keep it in their pants.

“Ew, cooties” --At least one of you, I’m sure
7:42 Who the fuck invited Karen?

7:43 Karen does not seem to understand that the Comic Book League publishes a COMIC BOOK.

7:43 Karen, everyone.

7:49 Without the Chihuahua, it’s actually quite tasteful

Shown here: the abyss gazing back
7:49 We critique the news

7:49 The editing on this show is terrible

7:49 The hair on this show is terrible

7:51 Mexican Barbie and Chinese Barbie are basically the same.

7:52 None of these Barbies can dunk

Except for this one, who will die trying
7:53 Why does Victorias Secret count as news?

7:55 Thank god one of us in this useless club actually speaks Spanish

8:00 Butts!

8:01 Sitting down must be an adventure

8:03 We might as well just not check the news.

8:03 Oh wait.

8:06 Magic the Gathering is always the beginning of the end.

Abandon hope all ye who enter here
8:07 Where is our Cobra Task Force

8:10 Sherlock homes does not have large breasts nor a tight spandex costume and thus we do not care.

8:10 Or at least, I don’t

8:12 Which X Man hasn’t died at least once?

8:14 Patrick Stewart cannot be used as a teenage superhero

Like hell he can’t
8:15 That’s some ageist bullshit

8:15 Who hasn’t died in Game of Thrones?

8:19 This issue is going to be Spice World themed

The best decision we’ve ever made
8:20 We all have to pick our anime trope!

An artist’s rendition of the Comic Book League
8:21 Andrew wants to be Tuxedo Mask

8:22 Andrew does not mind the idea that wicked queens are going to be kidnapping and molesting him constantly

8:22 What does this tornado have to do with choreographed dance moves?!

8:23 NEWS

8:26 We plan a Viking funeral. Or a musical routine.

8:28 It is Cats DON’T Dance!

I hate furries.
8:30 If you’re on the news, don’t Skype from your dorm room

8:33 GODZILLA IS CYCLICAL

In case you're wondering, curious readers, the meeting didn't end at 8:30, but the rest is top secret information that could DESTROY OUR VERY PUBLICATION. No I'm kidding we talked about themes. Like adults.

Everybody better have a rough draft when I see them tomorrow at the cost of an eye.

You know you love me
xoxo
The Lizard

Meeting Minutes 4/4/13

So technically this is a week late-let's just go with that I was sucked into a wormhole and then completely forgot I was supposed to do the minutes. Sure. That works.

7:22: So I’m late. I couldn’t find my socks. This proved to be problematic, as I started getting ready at like 6:45

7:22: Select has had every position in the club.

7:23: We plan the wedding of Electro and Mysterio-Damian’s the ring barrier.

7:24: The Wayne Foundation supports gay rights.


Not pictured: Kate Kane

7:25: There are way too many Monster High dolls.

7:25: If I bring the Mexican one, Javier will read her part in a terrible Mexican accent.

This is Javier now.

7:26: Today is Dinosaur education day.

7:26: Middle Long Island is a piece of shit.

And furthermore: fuck Long Island.

7:27: Javier is actually a hard core creationist.

7:27: Despite his T-Rex couture outfit.

7:31: Mike Coppola left everything in his will to Franklin Delano Roosevelt, in hopes of helping him defeat the reds.

7:32: She’s a dragon so she’s obviously chinese.

OBVIOUSLY

7:32: Select confirms that all Chinese people are also dragons.

7:34: Seth forgot all about the war of the Asians vs the Burritos.

7:34: Javier’s grandfather lived 10 years in a Chipotle internment camp.

7:34: What does Shaquil O’ Neal have to grapple to? He can literally reach everything while standing.

7:35: Why doesn’t Seth just run for president?

7:36: We literally never left square one.

7:36: Seth with be giving Select the traditional editor’s under the table hand job.

7:37: Seth, dressed as Spiderman, prepares to conquer Select’s penis.

7:39: Chimpanzee Girl is not a Monster High doll.

Their loss.

7:39: Andrew Scott ruined everything.

7:41: We have a charter, apparently.

7:42: Wait are we printing tee shirts?

7:44: Seth is stealing the plot from Office Space.

7:44: Wait no, it’s Hotel for Dogs.

Same thing.

7:45: I hate smiling, laughing, and encouraging my friends. Especially the last part.

7:45: What is OrgSync?

7:47: They want you to swipe out in case you get stabbed, so that NYU is no longer responsible for your corpse.

7:47: It’s really only so much of a legal precedent.

7:49: Alcoholism: the last Iron Man villain.

7:49: Ben Kingsley was Ghandi. And now he’s the Mandarin.

Sir Ben should prepare for another Oscar this year

7:50: I will save our nation from Doctor Doom.

7:52: How many stereotypical Australians do we know?

7:52: Who played Kangaroo Jack?

This guy was in the movie, but is not a kangaroo.

7:52: Can we all remember for a moment that the Daredevil movie was a thing?

7:53: “If you get a scripts and one of the directions is: rub catnip on your face-there’s nothing you can do to save that movie!”

7:54: Catwoman would’ve been better as a porno.

7:54: Javier’s seen the Catwoman porno, and the production was much better.

A movie that’s actually enjoyable for someone. I mean, she seemed happy enough.

7:55: I’m the ultimate Mary Sue.

7:56: I literally have no other choice but to get the Vampire Girl.

7:56: And who can forget the time I encouraged Seth when he ran the 500k?

7:57: Poseidon: the first brony.

7:59: Bronies can be like, “well at least we’re not furries”-but some people double dip.

7:59: Bronies and furries are a venn diagram, basically.

8:01: And then the furries go, “well at least we’re not Otherkins.”

8:01: And then you go to the Otherkins, who say “at least we’re not fictivekins.”

8:02: Javier continues to believe that he’s Danny Phantom.

8:02: We’re getting to the darkest part of the internet.

8:03: In this specific branch (the Brony branch) we have the one guy who has sexual relationships with the tailpipes of cars.

Ladies.

8:04: The Empire State Building is firing up it’s particle beam.

8:07: We venture to the ClopClop reddit. God help us.

8:07: Reddit forced Shaquiel O’Neil to hang himself.

8:27: I literally just spent 20 minutes being forced to watch Youtube Poop.

8:27: Boggle

8:30: You can’t next me, I’m Dylan!

Close enough.

8:30: And stop trying to Wallace Wells my boyfriend!

8:33: We begin to watch baggage.

Some enternity later, I think, a bunch of people got hungry and we disbanded. I don’t really remember, I was so entranced by that episode of Baggage.

Remember kids, Gossip Squirrel might have a fuzzy tail, but the Lizard will murder you for sport.

You know you love me
xoxo
The Lizard