Entertainment for the masses.

Marvel Murderball [Return of Spring Slaughterfest PREVIEW]

And now something we hope you REALLY enjoy!

Story-Taimur Dar Art- Chloe Reisen

RETURN OF THE SPRING SLAUGHTERFEST.

Good day, viewers!

Guess what? PUBLICATION!!

(click on it so it looks decent)



Yep, issue #6 of the Comic Book League's twice-a-year publication has hit stands. And by stands we mean that round table surrounded by a bunch of other magazines on the 7th floor of the Kimmel Center.
So, as i have stated before, corner an NYU student with some threatening object, like a comb, or seduce one with a Starbucks gift card—then politely ask him/her to go up to the the 7th floor of the Kimmel Center at Washington Square South and grab you an issue. Most NYU students can be tipped with some sort of eggplant-vegan side dish or a handful of buttons.

We attempted to leave some copies at the entrance of the Forbidden Planet Comic Book and Novelty Store down on Broadway, But the guy at the front desk questionably stared at our attempt at self-promotion and wandered off with the several issues we handed him. He may have not actually worked there, he could have been some vagrant or something. He kind of looked like the villain from True Lies but with a mustache.

So, over the following weeks, I and hopefully others will post some entertainment of some sort featured in our magazine here, from comic book panels to single page special things. We got one of them Obama-type poster parody things but with a Were-Cat. I don't have that file though, so someone else that's part of the League should post that.
At some point, we will start to post stories from past issues that are out of print, to act as a sort of database for those missing issues. Maybe we'll even explain what a "were-cat" is.

Speaking of nonsense, it's time for a page left on the cutting room floor! Print this out and pass it around your local doctor's office:
More to come! Nerd-movie reviews! Comic book retrospection! Opinions! Funnies! All for you!
stay tuned.

_________
side note:

Remember my webcomic submission fiasco that ended with me being classified with a bunch of furries? I expect not. Click here.

Well, i lost to this webcomic which won the entire contest. The humor of this webcomic's mastery has overwhelmed the internet. Utterly astounding. I cannot even comprehend a genius who could relate the video gaming arts to pastries. An act of true bravery in an undeserving art form—ingenuity, thy name is Out of Tens (now renamed Critical Miss, three words were too confusing, and prepositions in the middle of titles confuse the reader [the reader is stupid]).

So, yeah. One last hurrah for my dead webcomic: What could have been...


watch the skies.

Fancier Dan out.

Guest Post By Andrew

Okay, so today we have something a little different.

Namely, me, but also something else.

Recently, in my Intro to Media Criticism class, I was tasked to look at an important aspect of Pop Culture through a psychoanalytical lens. And I did just that. With Pokemon.

In a glorious failure of a paper, I present you The Red Pill or The Blue Pill - The Pokemon Effect.

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/12/3/453644//Intro To Media Crit Final.docx

-Andrew

KICK-ASS: The Movie Review—"I got to see a little girl murder people and say "cunt."

And now, here is the belated movie review for…

Hello, all those who visit the site! This review format has never technically been done before on the Comic Book League blog, so while I should be writing a 9-page paper, I decided to whip up a fancy, little review thingy for you all. I won’t be the only one to go over movies (that seem relatable to this blog’s ranging topics), so any other members can use that were-cat banner up there to place stars or thumbs on films that they deem necessary. I’m sorry I couldn’t be more concise like other movie reviews but I tried my hardest.

So, Kick-ass. The film that ComicCon and every nerd out there on the web loved, a film that many thought would be the surprise hit of the spring-summer. As is evident by the substandard box office results of the film, that didn’t really happen. But gauging movie reactions is a strange, nubile quest; there will always be people who love a movie that the world despises.

As the credits began to roll and Mika began to sing about blood being on people’s knees, the audience I was with gave the film a standing ovation. And this was the film Roger Ebert called “morally reprehensible” (though he has been saying things to muster controversy in the internet/technology crowd as of late). So the reaction to this film is very divided. Some blame the low ticket sales on a standard audience’s lack of care for a primarily child-cast R-rated movie, and there’s even a silly rumor going around that all the youngling middle schoolers bought tickets to How to Train Your Dragon and snuck into Kick-Ass (that’s a stretch).

But it really comes down to what people want to see. Many people in this great country of ours and beyond don’t want to see a violent superhero movie involving kids; the internet eats that shit up though. And when regarding Ebert’s reaction, I came to this sort of a conclusion: Kick-Ass is for young people that frequent the internet. Ebert is kind of like your grandfather scowling at you because you were playing Donkey Kong Country on your Gameboy for the whole car ride up to Yosemite (sort of).

I enjoyed the film. Yes, the film is flawed, but I still enjoyed it.

Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) wants to be a superhero for no apparent reason. He buys some sort of scuba suit that sort of looks like Ambush Bug’s costume but without the antennae (zing! I made a comic book reference!), and runs around Queens with what look like the ends of Lacrosse sticks and beats people up with them. He gets beaten up himself. It is harder than it looks to become a superhero. So it’s a satire.

Then two other “superheroes” arrive onto the scene to actually kill real crime bosses: Big Daddy (crazy person, Nicolas Cage) and Hit-girl (Chloë Moretz, my future daughter). So superheroes actually do exist (kind of messes with the satire’s original intent and all). Also, Mclovin is in this movie (or at least that’s what the audience I was with screamed out in unison when Christopher Mintz-Plasse appeared on the screen [aka Mclovin]), he is the son of the evil crime boss Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong), and he acts as filler, basically.

So because you are reading this on the internet, this probably means you have already seen the movie, so all this exposition isn’t necessary. Down to basics: crazy stuff happens, Hit-girl is awesome, this little girl kills people while silly music plays, everyone still loves Hit-Girl, Ambush Bug gets hit by a car, little girl from before says “cunt”, Nicolas Cage is not dressed as Batman even though he is, Mclovin wears a wig, bazooka, movie ends, etc…

The film begins as a satire of the superhero genre, gets corrupted by the product it is satirizing, gets ridiculous, and in the end becomes what it is satirizing; explosive ending, hero gets the girl, Nicolas Cage.

Hit-Girl, as every message board can account to, is what makes the movie. She’s an impish cartoon with a foul mouth that springs to life while she shoots a bullet through a man’s mouth to hit the armed guard standing behind him; she summersaults over bookshelves to shoot grown men in the face, then is beaten until she is bloodied by a grown man, but then is saved by a plot device. So, you get to see an 11-year-old girl stab a prostitute to death. Some people like that.

But when a side character steals the entire movie, it means that there is something wrong with your movie. You begin to care more about this purple-haired heroine rather than the green-suited protagonist, and to some degree this creates an animosity for all other characters. Many said that Heath Ledge as the Joker in The Dark Knight stole the show, but by the end of the movie we were still rooting for raspy-voiced Batman to save the day. Kick-Ass misses on that with the rest of the movie

Then the rest of the movie just comes down to being episodic and disjointed, and not in a good way. Scenes go on way too long or reach for an unintended reaction, it seems. There are more than enough drawn out scenes of people getting out of cars, if I remember correctly.

I read the book, by Mark Millar, after I saw the movie. The book’s better, story-wise, I have to say. It finds more truth in its reality and makes the violence brutal and disgusting rather than glorifying it like in the movie (big fault in movie numero dos). You don’t know Mclovin’s superhero alter-ego Red Mist is actually the lead villain’s son until near the end of the issue run, which works better as a thematic, suspense element. That’s why his scenes are so stretched to the string in the film, the character’s background wasn’t really discussed too deeply in the book and it worked; Matthew Vaughn (the director) and the producers realized they had cast Mclovin (kids love that guy!) so they actually rewrote Red Mist to have a more significant role (Mintz-Plasse originally auditioned for the Kick-Ass role).

The most despicable aspect of the film, which basically ruined a good chunk of the movie? Love interest. The point of Kick-Ass’s concept is that it is an attempt on a realistic take of superheroes—when you actually beat someone up they are severely bloodied, you’ll probably get killed, yada yada. In reality, and any comic fan can attest to this, the nerd never gets the girl. Well, he never gets the most popular girl in high school; more likely the nerd-girl. It was some insane, surreally-staged nightmare to watch Johnson’s character began to have sex with Lynsay Fonseca’s character in the alleyway of a comic book store. That doesn’t happen. That doesn’t happen. Also, the somewhat funny subplot involving Dave pretending to be gay so that he could act as Katie’s “gay friend” was thrown out the window of reasonability when Dave admits that he is not gay to Katie and she immediately wants to have sex with him. I had a friend who told a girl he was gay so he could touch her boobs. Afterwards, he told her he wasn’t. He immediately got slapped. That’s how the world works (just so you know, the complete opposite of what happens in the movie happens in the book; that made me happy).

Also, in the book, Big Daddy and Hit-Girl’s origin is different, and would have worked better for the reality of the premise.

So, rant.

Sorry about that. There’s my opinion. Worth a watch, definitely. I hope for sequel, despite that likeliness not being up to monetary standards, just to see where it could go; I liked the characters, despite some awkward writing and character motivation.

At least I got to see a little girl murder people and say “cunt.” That’s all I really went in for.

NEWS: The newest issue of the Comic Book League’s spring publication has been released: Return of the Spring Slaughterfest! If you can get access to it, then do so (ask an NYU student to sneak into the Kimmel Center at Washington Square S and pick you up a copy at the 7^th floor)! We (should) start posting images and maybe even a cover page up here soon to show off our comic book nonsense! Maybe even special things that we left on the cutting room floor! Be here!

Godspeed, muchachos.

-Fancier dan out.

p.s. here I am in a star war.